becca_cant_read

Somtimes i feel like my reality is so unreal. I look in the mirror sometimes and dont even know who the hell im looking at. I will stand there for a good 5 min wondering who it is, and if im dreaming or if im awake. it kind of scares me sometimes, that i dont even know who i am. i dont know what i want, and i dont know what to do with the things i have. i have to great loves in life, jeffery, and donating things for a good cause. weither i give my time, or money, food, or shelter i love giving. but i also find myself giving myself away. not in the convetional way though. i give myself away by letting others do whatever they want with me. if they want to use me, love me, hate me, or even abuse me...i let them. i try so hard not to let my vulnerability show, but it always finds its way out. i no ive been taken advatage of, cheated, and lied to. i dont know how to stop the crazieness.....